Except for rare intimate moments between passion-swept lovers, "wo ai ni" (I love you) is never spoken by Chinese. I began to wonder if you could extrapolate larger cultural truths from the absence of this word in their society.
Chinese parents and children and husbands and wives never exchange such sentimental words as "I love you." The Confucian structure of Chinese family, in which the parents care for the children who then care for their parents when they are old, is basically an economic arrangement. Social security, day care, health care, and disability insurance are all built into it. The individual is tied into this system by pure necessity for life, so enthusiastic emotional displays are unnecessary.
In Western culture, individuals are like freewheeling atoms, liable to break and form bonds at any time. That is one reason, out of countless many, why we so often repeat the words "I love you." It is a constant affirmation of the emotional bond that is keeping us together. We cannot take for granted these connections, since they are not based on ancient rigid societal structure, but rather the free will of all parties involved.
This illustrates a more general difference between China and Western societies. In Western societies, the individual is ascribed a multitude of personal rights and responsibilities. With regard to law, the individual is held accountable to conduct himself in a reasonable manner. In effect, he must hold perpetual court with judge and jury in his own mind. For lapses in rational conduct, he is rebuked by his other rational peers.
The bar is set high for individuals in Western societies. We are essentially a one-man ethics panel, required to reflect on and regulate our own behavior. Heavy educational resources must be expended to produce all these individual ethicists. In a way, Chinese get off easy. They are expected to do no more than closely obey instruction from higher ups, who in turn obey instruction from higher ups, in an endless game of responsibility hot potato.
Chinese parents and children and husbands and wives never exchange such sentimental words as "I love you." The Confucian structure of Chinese family, in which the parents care for the children who then care for their parents when they are old, is basically an economic arrangement. Social security, day care, health care, and disability insurance are all built into it. The individual is tied into this system by pure necessity for life, so enthusiastic emotional displays are unnecessary.
In Western culture, individuals are like freewheeling atoms, liable to break and form bonds at any time. That is one reason, out of countless many, why we so often repeat the words "I love you." It is a constant affirmation of the emotional bond that is keeping us together. We cannot take for granted these connections, since they are not based on ancient rigid societal structure, but rather the free will of all parties involved.
This illustrates a more general difference between China and Western societies. In Western societies, the individual is ascribed a multitude of personal rights and responsibilities. With regard to law, the individual is held accountable to conduct himself in a reasonable manner. In effect, he must hold perpetual court with judge and jury in his own mind. For lapses in rational conduct, he is rebuked by his other rational peers.
The bar is set high for individuals in Western societies. We are essentially a one-man ethics panel, required to reflect on and regulate our own behavior. Heavy educational resources must be expended to produce all these individual ethicists. In a way, Chinese get off easy. They are expected to do no more than closely obey instruction from higher ups, who in turn obey instruction from higher ups, in an endless game of responsibility hot potato.
The difference between individuality and collectivity helps us to see why Chinese don't say "I love you." Westerners say "I love you" because the individual "I" is taking personal responsibility for an action "love" directed at another free acting individual "you." Because Chinese relationships are so often proscribed by society, there is not reason to vocalize additional enthusiasm.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment